New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
