I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
