Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Randomize
