i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
