Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
false alarm. still invincible.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
