you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
