its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
