the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
