So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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