nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
