Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
wow bdsm is so cute
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
