I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
FUCK WHALES
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