Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
