yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My vagina is officially offended.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
