We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
i need some magic done to my vagina
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
