Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
