Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
