im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
