I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
