How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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