It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
if only i could text you this smell
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
