didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize