i barfeds in our rink
I looked at my own cervix.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize