The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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