1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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