I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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