we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
