So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
