I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
