he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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