I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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