After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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