I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
