FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
