Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
