Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
