um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
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