The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
