its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
