Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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