So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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