She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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