I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
