Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize