Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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