I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
