he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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