I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
