I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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