He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
