We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize