do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
