So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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