Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I smell like Dick and happiness
Pooping to opera.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize