I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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