I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
just tell him i said nine months
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
