can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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