I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
