Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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