the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
