have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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