The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
