I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
