Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
