i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
