so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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