I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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