I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
