Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
we're so committed to being not committed
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize