Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
