He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
