I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Randomize
