i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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