called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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