she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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