I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
How's work?
Spinning.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
His nipple licking is glorious
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