I'm really into asian looking animals
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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