when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i would one night stand the shit outta him
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
