No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I think your dad took our porno
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
