its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
