he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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